When I was a kid, every year either on or around my birthday, my dad would take me dove hunting (dove season opens on my birthday every year). It was cool, because it was sort of like the official kick off of “The Hunting Season”. If it were a weekday, after school we’d go home, get in our hunting gear, grab our shotguns, pile into the truck and go straight to some field not too far away where the farmer had just put the discs to his crop.
We’d set up on a fencerow, sitting about 20 feet from each other. We’d talk. Dad would remind me when I was about to shoot to lead my aim in front of the dove so they’d fly into the shot instead of shooting right at them. He’d do this every year, as though in the previous 364 days I had developed amnesia and couldn’t remember how to shoot a bird in flight. I listened anyway and took the advice. It was cool. Some of my best birthday memories are those afternoon hunting trips.
Of course, after a few years, I commented that it wasn’t really hunting. It was really like target practice. Dad agreed. He said the real hunting was him driving around the farm roads two weeks or so beforehand to find the fields where the birds were (something that I never knew he did; going out of his way for weeks beforehand to find the best place to continue our “tradition”. It’s pretty cool and kind of sweet, now that I look back on it. Just one thing on a long, long list of all the little things you never notice your parents doing for you until you get older.). Once you found the field, the rest was relatively easy. All you had to do at that point was wait, aim, and shoot. I’d miss some. I’d hit some. The more birds I hit, the better my aim improved. Actually, I attribute the fact that I shot at an “Expert Level” with an M-16 when I was in Army training to those formative years during dove (and quail) season.
My point is, the hard part of dove hunting wasn’t shooting at the birds. The hard part in dove hunting was finding the field where the birds were in the first place.
In the dating world, I’m in the process of “finding the field”, so to speak. What I mean by “finding the field” is finding the right person to date. That’s the hard part of dating. Once you’ve “found the field”, the rest is (or should be) easy. When a relationship starts, in my mind, I hear a voice much like how Dad would remind me the right way to shoot a dove, reminding how I need to act in a relationship. I hear it every time, as though I had developed amnesia and couldn’t remember how to treat a woman. I listen anyway and take the advice.
When shooting at a bird flying 40 mph, even though I knew what to do, there were times when my aim would be off and I’d miss. Every time I missed, I knew what I did wrong and the next one that flew by, I’d try and correct it. At least, I was in a field where the doves were, so in less than five minutes there’d be another bird flying by again. I mean, it wasn’t like the first bird I missed would cause all the other birds to completely go away, leaving us no other option but to go and try to find another field. That would really suck, considering how long it took to find the one where we were in the first place.
Being in a relationship, even though I know what to do, there are times when my aim is off, and I’ll screw up. Hey, I’m a guy. We screw up. It happens. (Oh and women screw up too. They aren’t infallible. I’m just writing this from a male [specifically, me] point of view. All this can be applied to either gender. Okay? Okay.) I will say, however, every time I’ve screwed up I knew what I did wrong and I try and correct it. I couldn’t help but think, at least I was in a relationship. I mean, when I’d screw up she wouldn't just go away, leaving me no other option but to go and try to find another girlfriend. That would really suck, considering how long it probably took to find the person to be in a relationship with in the first place.
I’ve been looking for a “field” for the last six months. In just over two weeks it’ll be my birthday and dove season is going to start again.
I have to ask, to myself if not anyone in particular (in a figurative sense), “Where the hell are the all the damn birds?!”
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7 comments:
I guess that all depends on what you are looking for.
True. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm looking for. The trouble I've found is most (not all, but most) females I've talked to lately seemingly have no clue as to what they want.
Yeah, despite me telling you over and over EXACTLY what we (women) want. Sheesh.
Hey. I didn't say I didn't know what they (women) want. I said they didn't know what they want (or at least they weren't sure as to what they want).`
If they don't know what they want then how are you going to. I think we all have a "pretty good idea" of what we are looking for. But what we want and get are sometimes totally different things
Well, if what you want and what you get are totally different things, and you're okay with that, then you've settled. You've said to yourself that this is as good as it's going to get. Afterward you'll spend a period of time talking yourself into thinking that the choice you've made is the right one.
Of course, if you're not okay with that, then you haven't settled and then "finding the field" goes on.
However, like The Stones say, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."
Long story short, you can either bite the bullet and go with your choice, or spin the wheel and try again.
I think this post was very well written - great job and I hope you find what you are looking for!
Kid -
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