Who's To Blame?!?

It seems obvious why the President, FEMA and the Federal Government in general’s response to Hurricane Katrina was about as sluggish as a three-toed sloth after eating three Butterball turkeys. There was, at first, no one to blame.

The first two days passed and I’m sure President Bush and the rest were waiting for Al Qaida to claim responsibility. No such luck. Although, thinking about that for a moment, how weird would it be if an Al Qaida terrorist cell out having ventured to the west African coast, set loose hundreds of butterflies in the air as a WMD powered on "Butterfly Effect Chaos Theory" to cause a repeated string of tropical storms and hurricanes to bash into the coastal areas of the United States?

Maybe I’ve read too many comic books in my life to come up with that, but it’s a conspiracy theory worthy enough to devote an entire hour to on Coast To Coast AM methinks.

Anyway...

Since there was no one at first to blame, the President, FEMA, and the Republican controlled Federal Government were caught with their collective trousers around their collective ankles exposing their massive, collective ass to thousands upon thousands of refugees.

Then, that got me thinking. The One responsible for the hurricane is going to be on thousands upon thousands of insurance documents in the coming months.

It was an Act of God.

Now, if we can go to war with an intangible “idealism” like the “War on Terror”, then why not another intangible “idealism” like God Himself? I mean, allegedly Al Qaida flew planes into three buildings and one patch of farmland. That’s kid’s stuff to what God has done. Miles and miles of coastland towns destroyed. Whole towns! A major American city virtually destroyed. A City! Hundreds of people are dead. Thousands upon thousands of people dispersed into wandering nomadic groups within their own country.

The police, unlike the brave firefighters and rescue workers that were featured so prominently in the 9/11 disaster, facing God’s Wrath lost all control of the city. Some abandoned their jobs. A few even shot themselves rather than deal with the fallout from God’s WMD.

Obviously, the first step to help the people and the city of New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Coast to recover would certainly be a tactical military strike on The Vatican and the new Pope, then work from there. This is an especially tough decision for the Christian Right because they have just lost their biggest ally in the first “idealistic war”, the War on Terror. I mean, what a complete prick God is. One minute, He tells the President to go to war and commit thousands of National Guard troops halfway around the world, and the next minute He smacks the United States right in the gonads with a hurricane. It's like God pointed behind the United States' shoulder saying, "Oh Me! Look over there!" and then when we turned around, He sucker punched us.

No wonder the Republicans were stunned into days of inactivity. Who saw that one coming? It’s like they were all at once hit between the eyes with a Holy Ball Peen Hammer.

Oh, and I love how the blame game is shifting away from the Republican controlled Federal Government. The Feds are saying their amazing lack of lurching forward in this car crash of a national disaster was that the local and state governments of Louisiana (the mayor of New Orleans and the Governor of Louisiana are Democrats, by the way) were acting like a seat belt and an air bag keeping them from moving. Well, I must admit, I think the Governor came off a bit slow on the uptake, but the Mayor of New Orleans had been screaming for help since Day: One.

This is horrible for the thousands of people who have been affected by this storm. I feel for them and I’m sorry it happened. But, if there is any good to come of this, it’s hopefully a cast a harsh spotlight on the massive ineffectiveness of this current Administration, Congress and the Republican controlled Federal Government.

Let’s get the people of the Gulf some help, start the War on God, and then when the time comes, vote as many of these incompetent bastards out of office as we can.